Oranges Can Get You Extra Space In A Mumbai Local

Posted: Wednesday, April 18, 2012 by random_name in
5

Yes, you read the title correct. This is no philosophical post where Oranges represent juicy dreams and a Mumbai local is constantly shifting market dynamics. Oranges are still the tangy fruit that you know of and Mumbai local is still that annoying public transport that you are bound to use even though every inch of your body votes against it.

Lets get some definitions straight; for those who don't know what a Mumbai local is like, picture this: 
>> Really LONG trains with compartments which have more than three times the capacity of a London tube.
>> Filled with people during peak hours to the extent that you stand in positions you otherwise thought were impossible.
>> Stuck to each other that one can feel the Woody Allen from the man behind sticking into you with your own probably greeting the man in front.
>> Breathing in the fresh smell of sweat throughout the year from the people around.
>> No air-conditioning.
>> If you lift one leg you may not find space once more to place it down, having being occupied by someone else.

Now, with the above situation firmly in place within your head, how would you like some extra space to relax? Get some REAL fresh air, be sweat free, firmly plant two feet on the floor and have people automatically move out of the way to let you go? Oh yes, all this is possible that to without having to be Harry Potter and has happened in front of my own very eyes. This, my dear friends is already possible for 50% of you, all you need to do is exploit it and can take place for the rest of us only if we make use of some oranges.

The other day, I was traveling with a female friend of mine from Andheri to South Mumbai and she had to alight at Dadar. Unlike me, she didn't have a first class pass and being unable to afford one for a single journey, she decided to buy a general class ticket. Now, Mumbai locals discriminate on the basis of gender. You have separate female compartments and the general compartments. Since almost all women chose to travel with their own kind, its a massive sausage fest inside the general compartment which deters even those few women who might even give it a thought. This bold friend of mine decided to challenge the very foundation of Mumbai local travel and wants to travel regular class in the general compartment, with me as her bodyguard.

What ensued is something that you can never imagine. A morning peak hour train, regular class, general compartment, Churchgate-bound, filled to its very brim with people and the two of us get privilege standing space. That may not sound like much but trust me it is! Getting to stand in one corner, back resting against the wall, wind in the face and arms stretched out. That, ladies and gentlemen, is the power of oranges. Not a soul complained and everyone scampered to one corner when she royally alighted from the train without so much as a push or scream.

Ladies, exploit it! Men, get that hair growing, arrange daily fruit supplies and make sure that shaving kit is well-stocked. Well actually, not shaving might just work additionally in your favour. You might get an empty compartment to yourself if you leave people guessing wont you?

5 comments:

  1. puja ganguli says:

    May I ask who this brave and charming lady was ?? ;)

  1. sanju says:

    Watermelons more like :-P if U get wat I mean :D

  1. Wait. What? What was it that you did to get the premium space?

  1. @Shweta

    I never did anything... go read again!

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